just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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