with your own penis?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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