She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
