just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
