I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
