Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
