I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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