I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
