So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Randomize
