I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
and she was petting her beer can
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
