I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I think people are normalizing furries
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
