every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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