Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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