Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
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