I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
