how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
