Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
