Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
