Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
