He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
