it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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