If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
