My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
love makes seman taste better
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Randomize
