so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
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