she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
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