The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
