are you so shy because you have an std?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
