Porn is love you can see.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
