i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
