Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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