What a fucking waste of an outfit
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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