last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
