I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
