More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
