Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Rumble strips road head = magical
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
