Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
