I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
