I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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