I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Randomize
