At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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