so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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