Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
