It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
