College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
