I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
