I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
