It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
