I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
