can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
