are you still at the devil's house?
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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