if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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