i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
he was CRYING into my vagina
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
